Year of the Rat Music Project

The perfect metaphor for Rock On is in the opening words of its foreword where Dan Kennedy, the author, apologizes and berates himself for the minuscule amount of cussing in the book. “Mister dirty bird can’t even take a minute to find a more mature way of saying something other than cursing a blue streak like an angry motorist or a bitter prison inmate high and insane on homemade prison booze made by cramming a Ziploc baggie with white bread, sugar, ketchup and fruit-cup remnants from the mess hall, then wrapping the baggie in a washrag and letting it rot and ferment behind the hot-water pipe in his cell. I know, I agree with you. Please know I’m not proud of my occasional use of even relatively mild profanity in this book.”

Rock On? Slow down Tipper Gore.

This passage illustrates the style of the entire book, not a lot of content smathered together by some over-written, mediocre prose. To paraphrase Bilbo Baggins, it’s too little butter on too much toast.

Rock On follows Dan Kennedy as he starts working for Atlantic Records just before the bottom falls out of the music industry. In between chapters of anecdotes is a bunch of creative writing 101 filler, lists and fake song lyrics, with titles like “Free Lyrics for Any All-Girl Rock Band Trying to Win Over the Middle-Aged White Suburban Male Demographic.” There’s a lot to be learned about the music industry here, how corporate labels approached marketing an album, how the inability to adapt and excessive salaries presumably doomed the music industry, unfortunately the book is more about Dan Kennedy’s insecurities and need to look down on others.

He makes fun of his bosses for having “Rush hair” or wearing an old blue jean jacket. He acts shocked and appalled that Jewel’s single about being “independent” is used to sell beauty products.

Curious Note: You always know you’re in trouble when the quotes on the front and back of the book are by other writers and not from reviews. Here’s something that you have to do when you’re in the media- ‘”Hilarious.” — Todd Hanson, editor of The Onion‘ is stamped on the front of Rock On. A few weeks after the book was released, this review by Ellen Wernecke showed up in The Onion, “Getting his dream job at Atlantic Records led Dan Kennedy to write two books, a series of pithy, brilliant short pieces, and a more conventional story about the dehumanizing effects of corporations. Those books are unhappily wed between the covers of Rock On: An Office Power Ballad, a memoir about work whose central narrative is as commonplace as the marketing meetings Kennedy lampoons.”

I had finished reading Rock On about a week before reading this review and I felt validated that the reviewer had come to similar conclusions to myself. I was also proud of the reviewer, because since Todd Hanson is most likely Kennedy’s friend, and since his name is on the front of the book, there was likely some sense of obligation to give the book at least an OK review. But then, a week after the review, The Onion published an interview of Dan Kennedy with this introduction, “Kennedy transformed the death of his rock ‘n’ roll fantasy into the scathingly funny Rock On: An Office Power Ballad, turning what could have been another tired eulogy into a funny, darkly comic wake.”

Well, which is it then? I know that it would be ballsy even for The Onion to preface an interview with, “Now, with his new failure of a book, Rock On, out in stores…”but still, I find it amusing that if this book sells at all, it’ll be because The Onion is essentially doing PR for it.