Year of the Rat Music Project

The perfect metaphor for Rock On is in the opening words of its foreword where Dan Kennedy, the author, apologizes and berates himself for the minuscule amount of cussing in the book. “Mister dirty bird can’t even take a minute to find a more mature way of saying something other than cursing a blue streak like an angry motorist or a bitter prison inmate high and insane on homemade prison booze made by cramming a Ziploc baggie with white bread, sugar, ketchup and fruit-cup remnants from the mess hall, then wrapping the baggie in a washrag and letting it rot and ferment behind the hot-water pipe in his cell. I know, I agree with you. Please know I’m not proud of my occasional use of even relatively mild profanity in this book.”

Rock On? Slow down Tipper Gore.

This passage illustrates the style of the entire book, not a lot of content smathered together by some over-written, mediocre prose. To paraphrase Bilbo Baggins, it’s too little butter on too much toast.

Rock On follows Dan Kennedy as he starts working for Atlantic Records just before the bottom falls out of the music industry. In between chapters of anecdotes is a bunch of creative writing 101 filler, lists and fake song lyrics, with titles like “Free Lyrics for Any All-Girl Rock Band Trying to Win Over the Middle-Aged White Suburban Male Demographic.” There’s a lot to be learned about the music industry here, how corporate labels approached marketing an album, how the inability to adapt and excessive salaries presumably doomed the music industry, unfortunately the book is more about Dan Kennedy’s insecurities and need to look down on others.

He makes fun of his bosses for having “Rush hair” or wearing an old blue jean jacket. He acts shocked and appalled that Jewel’s single about being “independent” is used to sell beauty products.

Curious Note: You always know you’re in trouble when the quotes on the front and back of the book are by other writers and not from reviews. Here’s something that you have to do when you’re in the media- ‘”Hilarious.” — Todd Hanson, editor of The Onion‘ is stamped on the front of Rock On. A few weeks after the book was released, this review by Ellen Wernecke showed up in The Onion, “Getting his dream job at Atlantic Records led Dan Kennedy to write two books, a series of pithy, brilliant short pieces, and a more conventional story about the dehumanizing effects of corporations. Those books are unhappily wed between the covers of Rock On: An Office Power Ballad, a memoir about work whose central narrative is as commonplace as the marketing meetings Kennedy lampoons.”

I had finished reading Rock On about a week before reading this review and I felt validated that the reviewer had come to similar conclusions to myself. I was also proud of the reviewer, because since Todd Hanson is most likely Kennedy’s friend, and since his name is on the front of the book, there was likely some sense of obligation to give the book at least an OK review. But then, a week after the review, The Onion published an interview of Dan Kennedy with this introduction, “Kennedy transformed the death of his rock ‘n’ roll fantasy into the scathingly funny Rock On: An Office Power Ballad, turning what could have been another tired eulogy into a funny, darkly comic wake.”

Well, which is it then? I know that it would be ballsy even for The Onion to preface an interview with, “Now, with his new failure of a book, Rock On, out in stores…”but still, I find it amusing that if this book sells at all, it’ll be because The Onion is essentially doing PR for it.

“Sunday in the Park with George” is a visual marvel, but unfortunately it leaves something to be desired musically, mainly melody.

The play is a fictional account of the pointillist George Seurat’s struggle to paint “Sunday in the Park on the Island of La Grande Jatte.” Each of the figures in the foreground of the painting has been given a character, and, by using projectors to create an optical illusion for a back drop, the painting comes to life.

George, played by Daniel Evans, is completely inaccessible to others, almost autistic in his inability to maintain relationships, and it is painful to watch him and the wall between himself and his lover, cleverly named Dot.

Stephen Sondheim, the author, also wrote “A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum” and “Sweeney Todd” and the failings of “Sunday in the Park” are the same as “Sweeney Todd.” The songs are often metaphorical, when George dabs his dots the music dot-dot-dots along with him, and this is pleasant enough. And like Sweeney Todd the lyrics are quite clever and this too is well and good. The problem is one of form; the songs are endless and tiresome.

There are only the slightest choruses, every song is packed with piercing notes, and many of the songs are played back-to-back. To get an idea of what I’m talking about check out this version of “Sunday in the Park with George” from an Sondheim tribute concert.

What I learned about Musicals: Songs are just like monologues, special effects or literary devices, they are best used to punctuate the most important parts (like the last clause in a post, wink).

I listened to The Go! Team on the train this morning…this band makes me want to take off my pants and dance around like an epileptic. I highly recommend it (the music, not the public-pantless-shuffle-spasm).

One more cup of coffee and I’ll be ready to take over the world.

Note: Video to come.

Well I finally watched “Once” and it restored my faith in humanity, just like I knew it would. One thing that bothered me, though, was how the movie got tagged at some point as “the musical for people who don’t like musicals.” Is it a musical? Really? If it is then “Walk the Line” and “Ray” are too.

My friend Michael argued with me that it is a musical because music tells a significant amount of the story, but I know another movie that fits that definition, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II (“Go ninja!/ Go ninja! / Go!).

OK, so it’s a musical. I was playing the Devil’s advocate. But this leads me to my second point, the tag that this movie defies description. Not so, it’s part of a healthy subgenre of movies about bands making music.

Some Other movies about Fictional Bands Making Music:

1. “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”
2. “That Thing You Do”
3. “Oh Brother Where Art Thou?”
4. “High School Musical”

More to come as I think of them

No Age were pretty hit or miss on every other song, alternately nailing it and putting out an undistinguished wall of noise.

The Liars sounded great and the lead singer looked like a giant Stretch Armstrong in a pink suit.

Evil Brian writes: Everyone was dressed like they had Down Syndrome and were busy doing the walking dead shuffle. If someone had cracked open some brains, they would have gone bananas (Down Syndrome Zombies=Twice as strong). But, since no brains were spilled on the floor, so fans showed their appreciation by nodding their hands and tapping their feet.

It was kind of nice to be at a concert where everyone respected your personal space though.

Pretty short show, but I understand the lead singer is having back problems.